My Kitchen

I can’t believe that as a young child I used to avoid this place called the kitchen.  I didn’t want anything to do with it.  It was too domestic for me.  “I don’t need to know how to cook,” I said to myself and others.  I didn’t know that the kitchen was more than a place to store food and cook.  It is a place where life happens.  Conversations are had.  Information is exchanged.  Stories are told.  Had I stayed, I would have known more about my story, my family. Instead, I chose to leave home after graduating high school to go to college and never return to a place that (in my estimation).   Only to return to the kitchen to learn how to cook and to tell my story.  Life is 360.  You can never go back, but you can reflect and learn from the past to have a viable future.  This is what I know to be true.

I have had many reflections since I moved into my new kitchen almost two years ago.  But more recently, I have had conversations with my ex-friend about things that were not so good in our past and discussions with an old friend about improving myself to make my life better.  It has been hard.  But, what I have found is that everything is hard.  Nothing comes easy.  I don’t know why I expect it to be easy (Well, maybe not so hard).   I thought if I did good, thought good thoughts, did good deeds, my family would be protected.  Their futures would be bright…and happy.  The latter is true, but the former was a bit foggy, a bit naïve.  My ex-friend told me that I needed to grow up.  I did.  I am doing.  This, too is also a part of the process, a part of my story.

My new friend has taught me the concept of ownership: to Own my life—to embrace the good, bad and ugly of me; to decide what I want and don’t Want and to believe that I am worth it, and to compete with No one—focus on my path and to trust my journey.  Accept responsibility.  Concentrate on the things you can control, e.g. my perspectives, attitudes, reactions, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs.  Everything else is non-essential.  This leads to a good life but not necessarily less stressful.  To have no stress is not the end goal because stress will always be around.  There may never be enough money, enough time, enough of anything.  It is all about how you handle the stress that improves life.  I am working on getting a handle on it too.

I don’t know what the future holds.  But, I will write about it.  I will have gatherings in my kitchen to share stories over a great meal.

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