My 50 Year Celebration!

Yesterday, I turned 50. I have been dreading it for the past two years. It became progressively hard during this past year. I don’t know exactly what I thought would (or would not) happen. All I know I was afraid of the big number 50. I kept thinking I didn’t have enough time. It wasn’t as if I thought I was going to die on the anniversary of my birth. I panicked. I thought when I graduated from college and twenty years passed, I was still “young”. When I turned thirty and twenty years past, I was still relatively “young”. Now that I have hit “50”, when twenty years pass, I will be “old”. Who knows what is beyond the horizon? That is my fear. Will I be healthy? Will I be financially secure? Will I be dependent upon my children? I never thought about this…ever!

When I graduated from high school and left my home town of Cleveland, Ohio to attend Syracuse University, I was never afraid. I believed that the world was my oyster. I was told that; it was engrained in my system. There was no going back. I was filled with hope. What happened? Time. I graduated from college. I worked. Got married. Got pregnant. Lost four children within five years (gave birth to twins; they died shortly after birth. Later a still birth and miscarriage). Stop working. Tried adoption. Lost child to birth parent. Got pregnant after taking fertility drugs. Now I have two beautiful children; twelve and fifteen and a half. It all seems like yesterday. How fast it has gone?!!!

So, I am 50! What am I going to do for the next twenty years? Well, first I will not clump things in twenty years segments. It is too long of a time span and it doesn’t allow me to take pleasure in the daily. I will take it one year at a time and I will celebrate my life.

To celebrate my 50th birthday, I asked my friends and family for one gift; a commitment to a healthier lifestyle for one full year. I plan to do the same.   I sent out a GoldMail Message via email to make my request. So far, a few of my friends have said they would honor my gift request.  Since then, I have joined Weight Watchers and started running/walking again.  I will be adding weights.  I will start using The Daily Kitchen to blog my thoughts and progress in creating a healthier me.

I realize that I have taken time for granted.    I have the wisdom of time to know not to do that again.  I hope you will join me in my 50th year celebration!